The following are memo's sent out to the staff of a large corporate organization!!!!
(re: Christmas staff party)
as you read you will see MD, I am guessing MD means management department(not sure)?
.....................here goes!
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th November 2004
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols........please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas Tree will be lit at 1.00p.m.. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party. Merry Christmas to you and your Family. Pauline
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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Pauline.
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FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believe $10.00 is a little cheap!!!
NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED!!!
Pauline.
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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th November 2004
Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins The Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!
Pauline.
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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F**ing Employees
DATE: 8 November 2004
RE: The F****ing Holiday Party.
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people !!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death"(as you so quaintly put it), you'll get your f***ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes, but you know tomatoes have feeling too..........they scream when you slice them, I've heard them!!!!! I'm hearing the scream right NOW!! I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die.
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 9th November 2004
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
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